My Year of 2022 Gardening In Numbers

Another year hurtles by and so, this year, I am 4 and a bit and I thought it would be interesting to look back over one year of my work and some of the numbers that have been totted up. Obviously, this being Christmas, it is going to be a bit light-hearted because hey people we survived another rock and roll year (drought, downpours, freezing etc.).  However, what follow are, as accurate as I can get them, and for those that are “estimated”, they are done so with… well stories in mind. 

Folks, this is my year (and perhaps yours) in numbers:

  • Visits made – 548 (at least)
  • Lawns mown – 232
  • Hedges cut – 79
  • Weeding – 151
  • Watering plants – 97
  • Miles walked – 1,000. This is pretty accurate – according to my watch tracker and some messing around with a spreadsheet I concluded that I have walked, as I am gardening, 1,886,439 steps which is around 1,590 kilometres and so roughly 1,000 miles (the distance from me to Tangier!)
  • Miles driven – 7,000. Tricky one this but again pretty accurate. I like the irony of the fact that I drive more miles to get to gardens than I do walking in the gardens. Something not right there.  So, I think a New Year’s resolution will be to get those numbers much closer together.
  • Water pipe leaks stopped – 1. This was a nightmare to sort out, random bit of old pipe in the field leaking like a sieve, no stop tap anywhere.
  • Hedgehogs rescued – 1
  • Hedgehog ramps installed – 1
  • Animals buried – 6. Not the hedgehog rescued I might add. Dealing with expired hedgehogs or any such wildlife is always a sad affair.
  • Stairlifts (for humans, not hedgehogs) repaired – 1
  • Robotic mowers “rescued” – 4
  • Blackbirds turfed out of Chicken Run – 1 (after a good 10 minutes chasing the thing around)
  • Peach flowers pollinated – 39
  • Peaches harvested – 6 (to be honest I was really pleased as it was only one last year when no flowers were pollinated, and I was a bit late getting this done this year).
  • Pruning saw blades snapped – 2 (that will teach me for being too enthusiastic with my sawing but seriously, less haste more speed = less chance of injury)
  • Hand tools misplaced – 5
  • Hand tools found again – 6 (result – a great year – a better rate than the banks!)
  • Elderly clients picked up and put back in their wheelchair – 2
  • Occasions when client’s fruit/vegetable produce was surreptitiously eaten on the premise of just checking “they are OK” – 7
  • Water tank inlet valves replaced – 1
  • New leaf sweeper rating out of 10 – 10
  • Weather station maintenance works undertaken – 2
  • Clients who went elsewhere – 1 (because they didn’t keep the faith and did not respond to TWO requests to meet and discuss THEIR garden).
  • Brick arches removed – 1. During the very hot period, I was helping a client’s builder with the renovation job they were doing on the client’s kitchen.  Seriously hard work but filled that gap nicely.
  • Dog’s ears tickled – 3,491 *
  • Cat’s ears tickled – 3,489 (sorry, dogs win this year) *
  • Tennis balls thrown for dogs – 119,394,269,491 **

* OK yes yes, I might have exaggerated just a smidge on this, but I did actually feel the need to go to a physiotherapist because I was losing power in my arm and they told me that I had tennis elbow – duh.  What I did come away with was this nugget of experience to share… never EVER throw a ball for a client’s dog – otherwise you will be THEIR FRIEND FOREVER and THEY WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE. They are lovely though.

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